What Did Japan Give Me, and What Did It Take Away?

I came to Japan when I was 24.

To be honest, I didn’t arrive with a big dream.

I wasn’t trying to change the world.

I wasn’t planning to build a startup.

And I certainly didn’t expect to stay here for more than ten years.

I simply needed a job.

I needed an opportunity.

More importantly, I needed to make money to support my family.

Over the years, many Japanese people have asked me the same question:

“Why did you come to Japan?”

To be honest, I’m never quite sure what answer they’re expecting.

Maybe something like:

“I love anime.”

“I love Japanese culture.”

“I’ve always dreamed of living in Japan.”

But my answer has always been much simpler.

If it’s a colleague, I usually say:

“I came here for work.”

If it’s a close friend, I tell them the real answer:

“I came here because I needed to make money to support my family.”

It’s not an inspiring story.

It’s not a childhood dream.

It was simply the reality of my life at that time.

And even today, I still think it’s the most honest answer.

When we’re young, people like to talk about choices.

But there are periods in life when you don’t really have many choices.

You take the path that’s available.

And you keep walking.

One year became two.

Two became five.

Five became ten.

And before I realized it, a large part of my youth had passed here.

If you ask me what Japan gave me, the first thing that comes to mind is maturity.

When you spend enough years away from home, growing up becomes unavoidable.

Nobody solves your problems for you.

Nobody makes decisions for you.

Nobody takes responsibility for your life.

There were good days.

There were lonely days.

There were days when I wanted to go home.

But the next morning, I still had to get up and go to work.

The second thing Japan gave me was perspective.

Working with Japanese people for many years changed the way I think about work and life.

Some things I once thought were important turned out not to matter that much.

Other things I barely noticed when I was younger became the foundation of everything.

Trust.

Consistency.

Responsibility.

Keeping your word.

The third thing is a little strange.

Regret.

I’ve made many mistakes in my life.

At work.

In relationships.

In the way I treated people.

In decisions I was convinced were right at the time.

Some things cannot be undone.

Some people cannot be met again.

Some opportunities pass by and never return.

But maybe that’s also how we learn.

How we become a little more humble.

A little more honest with ourselves.

And how we accept that some lessons are only learned after paying the price.

If you ask me what Japan took away, the answer is much simpler.

Time with my family.

I missed many things.

Family dinners.

Holidays.

Gatherings.

Moments that seemed ordinary at the time but become precious once they’re gone.

My youth.

Part of my youth is buried somewhere between early morning trains, office buildings, projects, meetings and deadlines.

And relationships.

If you stay somewhere long enough, you’ll notice that some people slowly disappear from your life.

Not because of conflict.

Not because of anger.

Life simply pulls everyone in different directions.

If I could go back to the day I was 24, would I come to Japan again?

Yes.

I would.

Not because it was the perfect choice.

Not because I had some grand dream.

And not because I knew how everything would turn out.

I would come because, at that point in my life, I didn’t have a better option.

I needed a job.

I needed money.

I needed to support my family.

Sometimes life doesn’t let us choose between right and wrong.

Only between the options we have.

Looking back after more than ten years, I don’t think I won.

I don’t think I lost either.

I just see an ordinary person trying his best with the choices he had at the time.

And maybe that’s enough.