Maybe It's Time to Redefine Myself

Not long ago, a recruitment agency reached out to me about a potential job opportunity.

Nothing unusual.

After more than a decade in the software industry, I still get messages from recruiters from time to time.

I sent them my CV.

They reviewed it.

What surprised me wasn’t the opportunity itself.

It was how they saw my career.

They told me my BrSE profile wasn’t strong enough.

They told me I was getting older compared to what the market preferred.

They told me it would be difficult to compete with younger candidates.

And that finding a really attractive opportunity might not be easy.

I don’t remember every word.

But I remember how I felt.

I stopped for a moment.

It sounds a little ridiculous.

A person who’s been working for more than ten years getting affected by a conversation with a stranger.

Ten years ago, I probably would have ignored it.

But people aren’t always as strong as they think they are.

Sometimes you’re tired.

Sometimes you’re lost.

Sometimes someone accidentally touches a question you’ve been avoiding for years.

And at that point in my life, I was already carrying a few of those questions.

So I started looking back.

More than ten years in Japan.

Away from family.

Living alone in a foreign country.

Working.

Delivering projects.

Supporting family.

Trying to make life work.

Day after day.

Year after year.

And then I asked myself:

What do I actually have left?

I’m not famous.

I’m not a founder.

I’m not a startup success story.

I don’t have a company.

I don’t have a million-dollar exit.

I don’t have an impressive story that people tell on podcasts.

But I know I’ve lived through a lot.

Successful projects.

Failed projects.

Difficult customers.

Great managers.

Moments when I thought I wouldn’t make it.

And moments when I somehow got back up and kept moving.

What bothered me most was realizing that almost everything I learned existed only inside my head.

Nobody could see it.

Nobody knew it.

A few years from now, maybe even I would forget parts of it.

That’s probably when the idea for this website appeared.

Not to sell anything.

Not to become an influencer.

Not to prove anyone wrong.

I simply wanted a place to keep the things I’ve seen along the way.

Things I once believed.

Things I may change my mind about in the future.

Stories about software.

Japan.

People.

Work.

Life.

And sometimes, myself.

Maybe, in some way, this website is also a journey to redefine who I am.

After more than a decade of working, I realized many things have changed.

Technology changes.

Jobs change.

Markets change.

And people change too.

Some things I thought were important no longer matter as much.

Some things I ignored when I was younger have become increasingly important.

I don’t really know who I’ll become in five or ten years.

But at least this is a place where I can document the journey of finding out.

I don’t know where I’ll be in five years.

I don’t know whether I’ll still be doing the same work.

I don’t know whether I’ll still be living in Japan.

I don’t know how much AI will change this industry.

I don’t even know whether the things I believe today will still be true tomorrow.

But there is one thing I do know.

Whenever life gets difficult, the person who stands up has always been me.

Nobody else can do that part for me.

At the end of the day,

I’m the one who’s fighting.

And I’m fighting alone.

I will find a way,

as I always do.

Maybe this website started there.